I have been lying. I have been lying to myself and everyone around me. What I said in my last post, and what I say to so many people who ask me, "if you're not working right now, what are you doing?" is a lie. I tell people, I am just focusing on getting in shape and dancing as much as I can. That, my friends, was a lie. I was not dancing as much as I could. Although I am on my two crews, and I take sporadic classes here and there, it was no where near the amounts that it should be if I actually want to make this a career. I don't even use the classes that I work study at BDC for half the time. That means, I am literally, working for free, and not even utilizing what I am doing. How many opportunities may I have missed due to my lack of motivation. Staying home all day, sending out cover letters and resumes to get some random part time job is not moving me forward. I took my first ballet class in months today. It wasn't horrible, but I definitely could feel my lack of practice.
The last week has been so up and down in my personal life, and something today just hit me. This weekend, I got to dance from some amazing choreographers and people from California and it was just very inspiring. Where I am at right now, is not moving forward. It is a very lazy attempt of success, just waiting for the "right" opportunity to come up for me. Well that is changing right now. I have discussed it with my family, and I will not be getting a part time job, (if I do, it will be very part time, and very flexible) and I will not be applying for any more internships or office positions. Paying for all the expenses to live in NY and go for my dream, without really giving it everything I have is pointless. For the next 5 months, I will be focused on preparing the the spring and for my dance career. I will be working out daily, not most days, daily, as well as taking a minimum of 6 classes at BDC every week, going to my rehearsals, teaching for the volunteer organization I am working with, and doing sporadic auditions as well. I am going to be organized, and I am going to eat healthy all the time. I just found the motivation I had when I graduated early and lost a lot of weight, and I am not letting it go this time. Anyone reading this, you are more than welcome, to check in and remind me of this post and make sure I am staying on task. To be successful, you have to be the best you can be. I have not been aiming for that. That is over. It is a new day, and it starts right now. Until next time friends.