Thursday, September 26, 2013

New Mind Set

I have been lying.  I have been lying to myself and everyone around me.  What I said in my last post, and what I say to so many people who ask me, "if you're not working right now, what are you doing?" is a lie.  I tell people, I am just focusing on getting in shape and dancing as much as I can.  That, my friends, was a lie.  I was not dancing as much as I could.  Although I am on my two crews, and I take sporadic classes here and there, it was no where near the amounts that it should be if I actually want to make this a career.  I don't even use the classes that I work study at BDC for half the time.  That means, I am literally, working for free, and not even utilizing what I am doing.  How many opportunities may I have missed due to my lack of motivation.  Staying home all day, sending out cover letters and resumes to get some random part time job is not moving me forward.  I took my first ballet class in months today.  It wasn't horrible, but I definitely could feel my lack of practice.   

The last week has been so up and down in my personal life, and something today just hit me.  This weekend, I got to dance from some amazing choreographers and people from California and it was just very inspiring.  Where I am at right now, is not moving forward.  It is a very lazy attempt of success, just waiting for the "right" opportunity to come up for me.  Well that is changing right now.  I have discussed it with my family, and I will not be getting a part time job, (if I do, it will be very part time, and very flexible) and I will not be applying for any more internships or office positions.  Paying for all the expenses to live in NY and go for my dream, without really giving it everything I have is pointless.  For the next 5 months, I will be focused on preparing the the spring and for my dance career.  I will be working out daily, not most days, daily, as well as taking a minimum of 6 classes at BDC every week, going to my rehearsals, teaching for the volunteer organization I am working with, and doing sporadic auditions as well.  I am going to be organized, and I am going to eat healthy all the time.  I just found the motivation I had when I graduated early and lost a lot of weight, and I am not letting it go this time.  Anyone reading this, you are more than welcome, to check in and remind me of this post and make sure I am staying on task.  To be successful, you have to be the best you can be.  I have not been aiming for that.  That is over.  It is a new day, and it starts right now.  Until next time friends.